Cold This Month Poetry: ‘Be “Absolutely” For…

 

(for M.L., why not…)

 
Before I see you again
I will think of the way you consider your words with me
I will consider the smiles that you have held onto
and returned to your breast as though you needed back the breath

I will see you coming thru every door and down every hallway
always a surprise worthy of reliving
worth the price of the aloneness that follows

your arrival
and going away again
slipping thru sudden moments
creating and creasing your way into my hope: a Christmas unto yourself

I will begin each one of my next sentences with a loud laugh
I will start them over again and again

for each time that
I imagine you will smile
even with your face and beating heart so fully turned into worship

before I see you again
before you enter   and sway    and send forth your glow
before there is a shivering thought and smile of my own over you
before I can remember that other women walk the Earth
before the Sun warms your skin
before it spreads your smile
before it slits your eyes into that pencil-thin gaze that you’ve perfected
before …
before …be-absolutely-for
being adored …

go ahead and know that I’m always
looking
wanting
waiting
until it happens again

 

Jas. Mardis /12-16
Jas. Mardis is a 2014 Inductee of the Texas Literary Hall of Fame and Editor of “KenteCloth: Southwest Voices of the African Diaspora, UNT PRESS